yeah- it's all pretty and clear.. not
November 22, 2003 [11:38 p.m.]
Well it's now 11:38 pm and I just got home from my wonderful job at Chickfale! This is the latest i've had to work in a while. But I was being nice and I helped some slow people close when I was done.. but anyways.
How's life? Good. I love my new car! I drive everywhere! Now I can't wait to get to drive people other than family members. I wanna go and take some girl-friends and go shopping and just be girly!
Me and Brian are still together. I've been thinking- we never talk on the weekends hardly! I mean, isn't this wrong? Isn't the weekends the times you spend most time with your lovey? Well guess what? Not in my case. He goes his way, I go mine (Which is usually to work, since that's all I do..Thank God we're closed on Sundays!) and he always has his rodeos to go to and compete, which is fine- but I don't know about all those redneck girls, trying to steal my cowboy. Better back off!
I think I may, I think I might, I think I like Thomas tonight. OK LAME, but honestly, I do like Thomas. It's sick. What is up with this dude that has me hooked?! I mean, beyond the fact that he's fine- he's sweet, he's a gentleman, he's a Christain, he's funny, he's one of my best friends, he's hot.. ya know? I mean, I could list on and on.. literally! I've had two people in the same day (yesterday) tell me that they think Thomas may like me again (at different times!) I mean, is this a sign? Or am I just crazy for thinking some hot guy could like me?.. again. Yah! That's right- he could like me, why not? He has before. Heck! We've been boyfriend and girlfriend before.. it could happen!
I was jealous today. Yep, guilty. OK, you know all the crap with me and Josh? Like he started calling me and wanting to meet me after work so we could.. 'hang out'.. well remember, he all of the sudden stopped calling me, and I figured he got a girlfriend. Turns out, he did! Well I hadn't seen him in like forever. And he finally came over to the house yesterday and he wanted to see my car... well he was sitting in it and he was looking at all my rings on my necklace hanging from the rearview mirror and he was like, "Who gave you these? Your boyfriend?" and I knew this was a touchy subject, since I know he gets jealous whenever I like or talk about another guy, and I go, "Yeah, as a matter of fact they are" (lie) and he goes, "You seriously have a boyfriend?" and I was like, "Yeah Brian" and he goes, "Cowboy Brian?!" And I was like, "Yeah, by the way.. what happened with your girlfriend.. she still around?" Josh.."I don't have a girlfriend" (lie) "Yes you do Josh" "Who said?" "Jeremy told me"
blah blah... well he changed (or tried to at least) the subject by saying, "I can't believe you have a boyfriend! You forget about me?!" So you see, he wants me to sit and wait for him to get bored with his girlfriends so he can dump them and come to me for fun. Yeah, fun.
Well today at church, me and my mom came in late and I sat in front of Josh's mom and this girl I didn't know. I didn't pay much attention to her until I went to the restroom and came back. I got a good look at her.. decent looking, looks my age.. long blond hair, skiiny. I was like, "Holy crap! He brought his girlfriend to church!" It had to be Josh's girlfriend. Well Josh plays guitar for our church so he was up front and he kept looking at me and he would give me these looks, I know they were to me, cause he always gives me these looks.
Well after music he stood and came towards us. My stomach filled with butterflys and then my pride is popped like a balloon when he takes the seat behind me.. beside his girlfriend! I was totally jealous. I started blushing, and I just felt stupid. I know what he was thinking.. "Ha!" That jerk.
But yet- I'm with Brian.. can you tell i'm happily in like with him.. yeah.. no confusion..
Kiss my butt.