this is it.. i know he is
December 06, 2003 [12:39 p.m.]
Don't ever listen to other people and believe them unless you talk to the person yourself. I've heard so much stuff about Brian and how he's cheating on me, and all this, and I believed every bit of it. But the people who told me, we're people who wouldn't lie. Thomas was one of them. He wouldn't lie, but maybe his sources would.
Yesterday we went on a field trip to the mall.. Thursday night I had talked to Thomas all night, and I had been so upset. He told me that he was worried about me being with Brian. He said he didn't want me to get hurt. He was telling me all this stuff that had been happening and stuff he had heard. And then Jen told me something, and I just blew up. I was convinced that I was going to break up with him.
Friday I ignored him all day. I couldn't talked to him. We went to the mall, and we started out a big group with Brian in it, but then it ended up Brian going with his friends and I was with Brittany, Lee, and Thomas. I had fun, but I so missed Brian.
Thomas kept telling me to do the right thing and that he was praying for me. I prayed about it last night and I asked God to let me dream about him, if it was meant to be. I dreamed about him all night. I can't break up with him! I love him!
But theres Thomas. Did I tell you about him saying to give him three years? and I told him i'd give him forever? Yes, this happened just a few nights ago. I'm such a mean person!
Last night Brian called me at like 11:30 and he was so upset. He said that he was sorry for anything he had did, and that he loved me, and would do anything for me. Then we got hung up and he never called back.
This morning he left me a message on Yahoo! and said that he talked to his mom and that he might be going back to public school! And I started crying. I was going to lose him!
So I left him like 50 notes on his Yahoo! message thing. Then he called me from Walmart and I said I was sorry for believing all of it, and that I wanted us to be together.
I don't want to lose this.